Too many times we compare ourselves to others, we wish for something more, we grapple with the challenges that we are presented with and this can make us feel inadequate. However, in any of these circumstances there is always the potential to grow and learn more about yourself. As therapists, we strive to help our clients move through and successfully manage emotional pain and discomfort. Here are some things to remember when you feel like you’ve failed or come short of any expectations:

You must fail to succeed

As cliche as this might sound, it is completely true. And although failure often hangs heavy on many of us, it matters what we do after we fail because that is what helps prepare us for next time. Often, we equate “winning” with success and if we don’t “win”, we feel unaccomplished. But this is not the case. Critiquing yourself about every little detail when you’ve failed is detrimental. Instead, accept the things you did wrong, but recognize yourself for the things you did right or that you can change for next time you’re faced with the same situation. Look towards building a better future and leave the past in the past, to be learned from but not repeated. And hey, if it’s repeated a couple times, you are still in the process of learning--allow yourself room to make errors and gradually improve. Immediate change is not always an obtainable goal.

Mistakes are natural

You are going to make mistakes. Other people are also going to make mistakes. And as much as we don’t like messing up, those mistakes help us learn. They allow us to reflect and pay attention to details that can be remembered at a later time and we gain experience with facing obstacles. That is one of the most important things, to learn from your mistakes, and use them to build a better future. Because in the end, we are all only human and we are not perfect.

If you need further counseling, our expert therapists will help you, call us now!